One day I asked her if it bothered her that I was the only guy she had ever been totally intimate with. She assured me, rather unconvincingly, that it did not. However, a month later, I was surprised when she raised the subject again and she confessed that it did rather bother her. I told her we could change that, if she really wanted to. We talked about it (usually during foreplay) but I couldn’t tell if she truly wanted to turn fantasy into reality, or if I could handle it. I finally asked her, “If I could find her a good-looking guy of appropriate age, did she want it to happen?” It seemed she did. A few weeks later, a very nervous Laurie-Anne found herself, naked except for a pink chemise, in an up-scale hotel room, waiting for a stranger called David to arrive. On his arrival, I admitted him to the room and Laurie-Anne approved that he was indeed, very good-looking. Unfortunately, this seemed to increase her anxiety. After brief introductions, David went into the bathroom to. I was tired and raw and although trying to be understanding about everything, I had to challenge him about ‘not being a sexual person’ after hearing him describe his relationship with Anna. It was so clear to me what he said was bullshit even if he didn’t know it. ‘Look,’ I stated bluntly, ‘I do not buy it.’ ‘Buy what?’ ‘That you are not into sex. You became uninterested in sex because she wanted you not to be interested in it. You’ve taken it on as being a part of you, that you are not a sexual person, when she conditioned you to be that way. If you want her to be able to have that kind of hold on you, for you not to want to have sexual desires for any other woman, it’s on you.’ Maybe I was too harsh, maybe he was too emotional. I saw his face begin to get red and he was becoming angry, very angry. I reached out to him and said the only thing that felt right to say even if it was not the right time, ‘I love you.’ Yeah, I did not know that was what was coming out, but there it was. .
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